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CHAPTER XII
Selfishness
THOSE whose earthly interests have been
superficial, who have been
dominated by pride, vanity, greed, ambition
and selfishness, are held in the
earth sphere after transition until
these tendencies have been conquered and
love and sympathy have been
developed through service for others.
Frequently spirits whose
earth lives were spent in pursuit of pleasure
and the pastimes of
wealthy society have attained realization of a higher life
through our
psychic circle.
Among these was one who sank with the "Titanic" in
1912.
EXPERIENCE, OCTOBER 22, 1916.
Spirit: JOHN J. A. Psychic:
MRS.
WICKLAND.
After the spirit of W. T. Stead had visited with
us a few moments,
another spirit came in, struggling desperately, as if
swimming, and called
loudly for aid.
Spirit Help! Help!
!
Doctor Where did you come from?
Sp. That man who just left
told me to come in here.
Dr. Have you been in the water?
Sp.
I drowned, but I have come to life again. I cannot see that man
now,
but I heard him talking and he told me to step in. He said that
you know the
way and would teach me, and that I could go with him
afterwards. But now I
cannot see him.
I'm blind! I'm blind! I
don't know whether the water blinded me or not,
but I am
blind.
Dr. That is only spiritual blindness. When a person passes
out of his
physical body without a knowledge of the laws of the higher
life, he finds
himself in a condition of darkness. It is the darkness
of ignorance.
Sp. Then I will not always be blind?
Dr. You
must realize that you are in the spirit world and that spirit
friends
are here who will teach you how to progress out of your condition
of
darkness.
SP. I can see a little now. For a while I could
see, but the door was shut
again and I could not see through. I was
with my wife and child for a time,
but no one noticed me. But now the
door is closed and I am out in the cold.
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I am all alone when I go to my
home. Changes seem to have taken place.
I do not know what I shall
do.
Dr. You have not realized your own situation.
Sp. What
is the matter anyway? What is causing this darkness? What can
I do to
get out of it? I never was so handicapped as I am now. I was all
right
for just a minute. I hear somebody talking. There, now I see him
again. Was it
Mr. Stead?
Dr. Mr. Stead was speaking through this
instrument just before you
came. Mr. Stead probably brought you here
for help. It is our work to
awaken earthbound spirits who are in
darkness.
Sp. This darkness is terrible. I have been in this
darkness for a long time.
Dr. Understand that there is no death.
Life continues in the spirit world,
where each one must serve others in
order to progress.
Sp. I really was not what I should have been. I
just lived for self. I
wanted amusement and to spend money. But now all
I have seen is my past,
and I have been in the darkness, and it is
terrible.
Every act of my past stands before me, and I want to run
away from it,
but I cannot. It is there all the time and accuses me,
because I could have done
differently. I have seen so many places where
I could have done good, but
now it seems too late.
Dr. When a
person lives for self alone he usually finds himself in
darkness when
he passes over to the other side of life. You must obtain
understanding
of the glories of the spirit world and realize that life there
is
service to others. That is the true "Heaven"--it is a condition of
mind.
Sp. Why are not these things taught in the world?
Dr.
Would the world listen? Humanity as a whole does not look for
the
spiritual side of life, but looks for other things. The world is
seeking for
amusement and for selfish gain, not for truth.
Sp.
There is such a queer feeling coming over me! Mother! Mother my
loving
mother! (Spirit.) I am a man, but I feel like a child in your arms again.
I
have been longing for you, but I have been living all by myself in
the terrible
darkness. Why is it that I should be in the dark? Cannot
my eyes be cured?
Will I be blind all the time? Isn't it strange that I
can see you, yet I seem to be
blind?
Dr. You have a spiritual
body now, and when your spiritual
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eyes are opened you will see the
beautiful things of the spirit world.
Sp. I see Mr. Stead there. We
were both on the same boat, but he does
not seem to be in the
dark.
Dr. He understood the truth of spirit return and life on the
other side
while he was on earth. Life is a school and we must learn
all we can about the
spirit side of life while we are on earth, for the
only light we have when we
pass to the other side is the knowledge
pertaining to life's problems which we
have gathered here.
Sp.
Why did no one ever tell me these things?
Dr. Would you have
listened to any one who would have tried to talk to
you on these
subjects?
Sp. No one ever approached me with such ideas.
Dr.
What year do you think this is?
Sp. 1912.
Dr. It is
1916.
Sp. Where have I been? I have been very hungry and cold. I
had a very
great deal of money, but lately when I have wanted some to
spend I could not
get hold of it. Sometimes I seemed to be shut up in a
room, very dark, and I
could see nothing but a procession of my past
life.
I was not a bad man, but you probably know what society
people are. I
did not know until now what it was to be poor. It is a
new experience to me.
Why should humanity not be taught differently
before death? Then there
would not be such suffering as I am in
now.
Dr. If you will go with your mother and other spirit friends
and try to
understand what they tell you, you will feel much
happier.
Sp. I can see Mr. Stead. I met him on the boat but I had
no use for his
teachings. I thought he was old and that he had a hobby.
You know when
people get old they have hobbies of one kind or
another.
I never had time for such things, because all I thought of
was my money
and society. We do not see the poor people and we do not
care to see them.
I could do so differently now, but money is of no
use to me any longer.
My mother is waiting for me and I should like
to go with her, for I have
not seen her for years, and it is so good to
see her. She says she could not
reach me, for I was like a crazy man
and would not listen to her.
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Bless you all for the help you have
been to me, and for having opened
my eyes. It is misery to be blind,
yet able to see the procession of your past
life, and not be able to
see or hear anything else.
Dr. We should like to know your
name.
Sp. I am John J. A., and I am glad I met you all. I am so
grateful for what
you have told me. Now I can see and hear, and
understand something that I
did not know existed.
My mother and
friends are coming for me, and now I am going through
that beautiful
gate into what will be to me Heaven.
I again thank you all, and
hope some day to come and see you
again.
Goodbye.
----------------------
A few weeks later the foregoing spirit
brought a friend, another member
of New York's aristocracy, who had met
his death at the sinking of the
"Lusitania."
EXPERIENCE,
NOVEMBER 5, 1916
Spirit: ALFRED V. Psychic: MRS. WICKLAND
Spirit
Somebody told me to come in here and I would get warm.
Doctor What
is your name?
Sp. Alfred V. I was on a boat. John J. A. came and
told me he would try
to help me get in here. He said if I would come in
here I would get help.
Say, I have never been hungry in my life
before, but I am both hungry
and cold, and my clothes are all
wet.
Dr. That is only a condition of your mind. You have lost your
physical
body and should not feel the need of food.
Sp. I know I
drowned and I have been in misery ever since.
Dr. If you had an
understanding of the life hereafter and of progression
in the spirit
world you would soon find happiness through serving others.
Sp. I
never was happy. I suppose I had my own way too much, yet
sometimes I
felt, what was the use. But I thought: "Just forget yourself and
have a
good time."
You may not care for society life, but in society you
can drown yourself
in gaiety. I really did not care for society
life.
I used to forget myself with my horses. If you have a
beautiful horse he
is faithful to you through life. But when
you
284
get into society, women just show
you one side-smiles, and sometimes they
hate you.
The love I
know most is the love of a beautiful, faithful horse. Horses
were my
pleasure and I felt they loved me.
Women liked me only for what I
could do for them; they wanted money
and pleasure. Women wanted all the
money they could get from me. I let go
of things and tried to lose
myself in pleasure, but I was not happy.
Society does not know
anything about honor and respectability. If I
could find people as
faithful and true as my horse was to me, I tell you I
would thank you
for that society. But go into the kind of society I have
known, and men
and women are nothing.
I was a sport myself, but there were things
that drove me to forget that
little thing within me, conscience. I
longed for something that was good, but
where can you find
it?
Not amongst society, but amongst horses. Society is all right
if you want
that kind of a life. You will probably realize that I
developed a great deal of
selfishness.
Dr. You must try now to
forget your past life with all its sorrow and
bitterness. Look for
higher things; then your spiritual eyes will be opened.
Sp. Friends
that took an interest in me brought me here, and my eyes
have been
opened since I came. I feel that probably-but I am not sure-a time
may
come when I can be happy. I have never been really happy, for when
a
child I had my own way too much.
I thank you for allowing me
to come here. If I ever am truly happy I will
come back and tell you
so.
A sequel to the above occurred several years later, when John
J. A., and
Alfred V., brought to our circle a friend of theirs, Anna
H., stage celebrity.
EXPERIENCE, SEPTEMBER 8, 1918
Spirit: ANNA
H. Psychic: MRS. WICKLAND
Spirit Water! Please, water! (A glass of
water was given and eagerly taken.)
Thank you so much! I have been
very sick and am still weak. The
doctors really do not know what is the
matter with me. They said I must
be kept quiet. My legs and arms pain
me so.
285
Doctor We will relieve your pain.
(Manipulating arms of psychic.)
Sp. Be very careful about my bones.
I want to retain my beautiful form.
I want to get well and return to my
work. I have been very sick, and I am
still very weak.
Dr. What
is your name?
Sp. My name is Anna H.
Dr. How did you come to
Los Angeles?
Sp. I am not in Los Angeles. I am in New
York.
Dr. Who brought you here?
Sp. I thought I had a dream
and that Alfred V. came and spoke to me. He
always liked me, but he is
dead. Now he says that I must wake up.
I am so sick. My bones, my
bones! I don't want to lose my beautiful
form. I feel that I am
commencing to get better and stronger. Will I live now,
and can I
perform again and do my work? I do not want to lose my
beautiful
form.
Dr. You will never perform on the physical plane
again.
Sp. I hope to. Alfred V. bothered me so much, but he is
dead.
Dr. Does he look as though he were dead?
Sp. He seems
to be very well, but I thought I was dreaming. Why, here
is John J. A.,
too! They are both dead.
Dr. So are you.
Sp. When did I
die?
Dr. A short time ago.
Sp. Alfred says that they do
missionary work to wake up spirits. But
they do not believe in such
things as spirits. I don't want to die.
Dr. Nobody actually
"dies."
Sp. Of course they do. The doctors said I could never get
well. I fought
and fought to live. I want to live. I want to overcome
my sickness and get
well again, and I want to retain my beautiful
form.
Dr. From now on you must try to develop a beautiful
spirit.
Sp. The two men want me to go with them to find
understanding.
Dr. They have found the truth through this little
circle. They were very
poor spiritually before they came here, but
became rich, through an
understanding of a more beautiful life than
they had here on earth.
Sp. What is this place? They say it is the
Gate to the Understanding of
Real Life-The Gateway.
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(Noticing dress.) This dress does
not fit well. (Touching neck and
shoulders.) This is not my neck, or
face, or form. They say I am weak yet,
but I am to go with them and
they will show me the way, but that I have
much to learn.
Dr.
Did you ever ask yourself: "What is Mind?"
Sp. No. I just wanted my
beautiful form. If it were not for my beautiful
form and acting I could
not have attracted people to me and earned my
living. There are quite a
few people here. (Spirits.) Alfred said if I came here
he would bring
me to my relations, and to a beautiful home beyond
the
grave.
Dr. What do they call that place?
Sp. I do not
like the name, but they say, "The Spirit World." They say
that is the
home beyond the grave. They say I shall have to overcome my
earthly
condition before I can open my psychic eyes. I do not know what
they
mean.
They say if I go with them I will find beautiful conditions
after I have
understanding, but that I shall have to overcome a great
deal of self and live
for others.
Alfred says that we lived for
society and ourselves, and we have to
suffer for it. He says I must go,
but I cannot, for I am very sick.
Dr. Your body was sick, but you
have lost that body. It is in the East.
Sp. I feel better now than
I did a while ago.
Dr. My wife is a psychic sensitive, and you are
speaking through her
body. Alfred V. and John J. A. at one time
controlled her body as you are
now doing.
Sp. My bones are so
sore.
Dr. That is only in your mind. Mind is not the body. Mind is
invisible.
We do not see you at all; you are invisible to
us.
Sp. (Touching face.) This is not my face, and I don't want this
form. I
want my beautiful form.
Dr. It will be your duty to
serve others in the spirit world.
Sp. These people want me to go
with them. They took quite an interest
in me and my work. My pains seem
to be leaving me.
Will you please tell me how I could come here
when you are all strangers
to me? I do not know why I should be here
tonight. I feel so well now.
Dr. We are carrying on experimental
work to learn what becomes of the
dead. My wife is a psychic and you
are controlling her body.
Sp. Alfred says I must go. I thought I
had a dream and
that I was going to die, but I fought and fought for a
long time.
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I did not want to die, so I used
all my will power to live as long as I could.
One day I felt very
weak and I went to sleep for quite a while, but I
woke up again, as I
wanted to live. They thought I was dead, but I was not. I
had only gone
to sleep. I wanted to live because life is dear to me, but I was
sick
so long and suffered so severely.
I went to sleep again and I slept
a long time, and when I woke up it was
all dark, and I could not see
anything at all. Everything was dark, dark, dark. I
could not find any
light and it was so dark. I felt so distressed-all dark.
I thought
then I went to sleep again, and as I slept I dreamed Alfred V.
and John
J. A. came to me and said: "Anna, wake up! We are here to help
you.
Come with us. Come!"
I thought I was waking up, but I was so sick,
so sick, that I could not go
with them. My crippled body was so
sick.
They said: "We will take you to a place where you will have a
new body,
and you will be well and strong. Come with us to a more
beautiful world than this."
Here I am, all well and strong. Will I
not have those terrible pains again?
They are so hard on me.
I
felt I must not eat too much, or drink too much, or I would not be
able
to retain my beautiful form. I would not eat meat, because I would
get too
fat, and I must eat just enough to retain the roundness of my
form.
What have I now? Why did I not do more helpful things? Life
was so
sweet. I liked to be flattered and I liked to have admirers. It
is so hard to lose
your admirers.
Dr. Do Alfred V. and J. A.
flatter you now?
Sp. No. They do not look as they used to. There is
a seriousness about
them. They look so sincere that I feel different
with them. While to me they
look much younger, I know they are older.
They do not say to me as they
did once: "Come along and have a good
time."
Life was very sweet while I had admirers. But I suffered for
my vanity.
The doctors said if I had not laced so much I would not have
been so sick. I
would not mind the doctors either. They wanted me to
eat to get strength,
but I was afraid if I lay there and ate, and did
not get my regular massage and
baths, I could not keep my form, so I
starved myself.
When I was in the dark Alfred came to me and said:
"Come I will show
you something far more beautiful than a beautiful
form and selfishness and
vanity. They are only shadows. Now
288
come, and we will show you why we
should live for others. You will be
beautiful again when you have
served others, but you must forget self and
overcome all
selfishness."
Now I must serve and I must help.
Suddenly the
spirit lost control and was gone.
-----------------
Two years later, after Anna H. had brought the
spirits of Olive T.* and
Anna D. to our circle, she spoke to us
again.
EXPERIENCE, SEPTEMBER 22, 1920
Spirit: ANNA H. Psychic:
MRS. WICKLAND
Good Evening. I came here tonight to thank you for
what you have done
for me. I am now very happy. I only lived for myself
and for my body and
beauty. I lived only for a good time.
When
you live for a good time you are not really happy. You are
always
afraid that some one will shine brighter than yourself, or that
some one will
take your place and charm away your admirers.
Here
in this room I found harmony, when I was in such darkness. I could
not
see anything except all the promises I had made and broken, and I felt
sad.
Now I have understanding of the real life. The real life is to
serve others,
to do good for others, to help others; then you yourself
will have help. This
brings happiness, which is "Heaven"-it is the
Heaven of Contentment.
When I first came here I was very sad and
gloomy. I had only thought of
self, with never a thought of God, our
Maker. We should all think of Him
and learn to know Him. He is the, one
we should pray to and we should try
to realize what life is.
We
should learn to know, not be satisfied with blind belief. Learn
to
understand God in His truest sense.
I was once quite a
church-going girl. I believed and believed and
condemned others, and
thought if you did not do so and so you would be
lost. That is the
reason many fall by the wayside.
People only have time for
amusement. They do not go to church. Why
are they not taught to
understand the real Christ spirit?
Give them innocent amusement of
one kind or another, and do not keep
them wrapped in gloom, praying and
praying all the time. They fall. They
want to go to church and they
want
*See Chap. 7, Pages 155,
159.Spirit: Olive T.
289
to have a good time, but they are
taught that if they do not go to church and
pray they will fall lower
and lower and they will be condemned, not by God,
but condemned by the
people.
If a girl falls, who will raise her up? Does the church do
this work? No;
churches will not have anything to do with her, because
they say she is bad.
They say: "We do not want our daughters to go
about with her or be seen in
her company, because she will make them
bad."
Since churches teach the Gospel of Christ, why should they
not help
such a soul to rise? Christ did not accuse the fallen woman.
He said that he
who was without sin should cast the first stone.
Because a woman had fallen,
accusers stood ready to throw stones at
her. When Christ spoke, the accusers
went away. Then what did Christ
do? He took her hand, lifted her up and
said: "Where are your accusers?
Go and sin no more."
He meant she should try to enter a new life
and do better. But society
will not have her. The churches will not
have her. She is down. Where will
she go? Where can she go?
She
has not sinned against any one but herself. Her own self accuses
her
for what she has done. How can she rise? If she goes to church she
will not
be helped there. She can only go to the lowest condition where
there is a good
time and champagne, and try to drown her
conscience.
Suppose we tell the people that this unfortunate girl
has fallen, has had
to go into a wild underworld, has been bad, has had
no chance to rise, and
that her character has gone-will they help her?
No, they will not.
We should always try to help others, especially
the weak and fallen
ones, and try to raise them as Christ taught us. Do
not condemn, but raise
them to society again, and help them to be
honest and sincere. Then we shall
convert the world of men as well as
women.
Men are also greatly to blame for trying to ruin poor
innocent little girls.
Just because a girl has a beautiful face and has
charms men should not praise
and flatter. They ruin the girl. The man
goes back to society but the girl goes
lower and lower. She cannot go
back to her former life but has to remain
where she is.
If you
could see the lower life of Paris you would shudder and realize
that
that is hell. People who go there have lost their pride, their senses.
The
women there have lost all modesty.
They do not believe in
God; they do not believe in the Christian religion
any more, because
the Christian religion and its
290
people have driven them to what
they are. They think there is no God and
so they can do whatever they
wish.
Let us try to help these unfortunates. I am now working in
the slums of
earthbound spirits. I am serving. There was a time when I
would not soil my
hands to help anybody, because I had to be waited on.
I had my maid, and if
I were not waited on at once, just when I wanted
things, I scolded and was
very irritable.
Now I wait on the
lowest with the true spirit of Christ, who taught us to
serve others
and love others as ourselves and God above all things.
When the one
who has fallen by the wayside is given true understanding,
then that
soul will serve, and his love for his fellow man will be much
stronger
than that of the one who does not have that understanding.. One
who has
always had a good home, gone to church and is pure and good,
knows
nothing of evil.
Let us all understand our Maker, the God of us
all. Our Maker is God
for the one who has fallen just as much as for
the pure. God is Love.
When you have shining in your heart that
light of love which is the love
of God-not love as people understand
it, lukewarm, sentimental love, but
love which has suffered and which
understands, which does not ask
anything, which sacrifices and will
serve from the lowest to the highest-that
is real, true
love.
When people are crushed we should raise them again with love
and
sympathy, then we could not condemn any one. God does not
condemn.
Why should we? God loves all his children. He has given them
all free will to
go their own way for a while until they are ready to
say: "Not my will any
longer, but Thine."
Each one of us has had
experience in one way or another, but let us all
look to God, and let
the love of God and understanding so shine in our souls
that each will
he a part of that divine spirit of love.
No minister, no one, can
reach you, but you yourself will have to see and
feel what God really
is. Then you will sin no more.
That is Heaven; that is Bliss. It is
beautiful, it is harmonious. When each
understands the other in God's
love, then there is peace and harmony; but
you will have to feel this
beautiful condition, which we call Heaven, within you.
You cannot
be contented in this beautiful condition unless
291
you help others. We stand by our
brothers and sisters. We call them so
through love of God.
Say
to those in misery: "Let me reach my hand down to you and I will
help
you to an understanding of the true love of God and you, too, will
shine
in this Heaven of Love."
From your own home in the spirit
world you reach down to the lower
plane and you see some here, some
there, in all kinds of agony. Some have
taken their own lives because
of disappointment in love. Others are
overcome by sickness. Others are
all crippled.
Others are being punished by conscience. Through lack
of understanding
they pray and pray and sing. They are only ignorant.
They pray to the
personal God they believe in, but the poor things do
not understand the truth.
Others are earthbound because of their
belief. They do not want to talk
to you because you do not belong to
their church. They say: "I do not want
to have anything to do with you.
You stay there, and I will stay here," and
the praying and singing goes
on.
They do not know that they have passed out, neither do they
know of
the wonderful God of Understanding. When you have
understanding, the
knowledge of God will shine in your heart.
I
am in the spirit world now, and it is all so beautiful, but I would
not
have had all this happiness so soon had I not come here and been
given
understanding. I would not have had it if I had not served. I
have brought
many here who were crippled through lack of understanding
and they
received light.
These two young girls, Olive T. and her
little friend, Anna D., who both
took their own lives, are ones whom I
will look after. I could do nothing with
them, because they knew I was
dead. Their fear of me kept me from them.
They shunned me. I could not
reach them. I did not want them to go to any
other place. I did not
want them to go to earth life and obsess some one.
I brought both
of them here tonight and I shall take them to my home in
the spirit
world. I will take care of them and help them to an understanding,
and
some day they may come and thank you as I have come to thank you
tonight.
Let us all have an understanding of truth. Do not only
believe. Belief is
all right, but to your belief add knowledge and
understanding of God's
wonderful love.
Do not let others tell
you they will save you, because they cannot do it.
You will have to
find the saving spirit within
292
yourself. When the love of
understanding shines in your heart you will
realize the wisdom of
God.
Then you will not need to think that God is in His "Heaven."
He is here,
there and everywhere. He is in the drop of water, He is in
the flowers; all are
a part of His wonderful work. Let us worship Him
and let us see Him with
open eyes, and we will be happy.
Thank
you for allowing me to
come.
Goodbye.
-----------------
In Chicago we had known two Jewish ladies, Mrs.
Sr. and Mrs. Simons,
who were excellent friends, although the latter
was somewhat tyrannical in
her exactions.
She particularly
disapproved of the automatic writing which her friend
was experimenting
with, declaring that Spiritualism was a fraud, since after
death
everyone became a flower,- a bird, or a tree.
Mrs. Simons passed
away in the presence of her friend, suffering from
dropsy and intense
lumbago pains. A number of years later, when Mrs. Sr.
was in
California, she developed melancholia and was afflicted so
severely
with pains in her back that she could not walk
erectly.
After spending three weeks in the hospital without any
improvement she
came to us and after the following experience, during a
circle at which Mrs.
Sr. was present, she was entirely
relieved.
EXPERIENCE, OCTOBER 27, 1919
Spirit: MRS. SIMONS.
Patient: MRS. SR
Psychic: MRS. WICKLAND.
The controlling entity
groaned and immediately placed hands on back,
apparently in great
pain.
Doctor Are you in trouble? Have you lost your body
without
understanding it?
Spirit I don't know.
Dr. We can
relieve your pain. Tell us who you are.
Sp. I don't
know.
Dr. Surely you know your own name.
Sp. I cannot
think.
Dr. How long have you been dead?
Sp. I don't know if
I am dead.
293
Dr. What did your friends call
you?
Sp. Mrs. Simons.
Dr. Where did you live?
Sp.
Chicago.
Dr. Where did you live in Chicago?
Sp. It's a long
time ago, and I don't know. I have not felt just right.
Dr. In what
way?
Sp. I felt so small, and was so uncomfortable.
Dr. Do
you realize that you were interfering with some one? Sp. I
know that I
am in such a stupor. I don't feel natural. Dr. Do you
know the reason
for that?
Sp. No.
Dr. You did not believe in spirits, did
you?
Sp. No, and I don't believe it yet.
Dr. Then you do not
believe in your own self, do you? You
thought any one who believed in
spirits was foolish. Is it not foolish
to be an earthbound spirit? Do
you realize that you have been one?
Mrs. Sr. Do you know
me?
Sp. I know that voice; it belongs to a friend of
mine.
Dr. Where is she?
Sp. In Chicago.
Dr. What was
her business?
Sp. I don't know. Everything is so dark and I cannot
remember
anything. I know that voice, but I cannot tell you who it
belongs to. I
cannot remember her name at all, but I knew her in
Chicago. She used
to call and see me. My friend was always like
sunshine to me. She
helped me.
Dr. What did she do?
Sp.
She always came with such a nice cheerful disposition, but
she got
interested in Spiritualism once. I told her not to bother with
it
because there was nothing in it. I would not have anything to do
with that.
I miss her so. I only see her once in a while. I feel so
little and
uncomfortable. To save my life I cannot think of her
name.
Dr. What was her first name?
Sp. It comes to me now!
It was R. Something ails my memory and
things are so queer to me. Once
in a while I get a glimpse of light, then
I feel I am locked up in a
small place. You know I am a big woman and
in that little place (aura
of patient) I was so crowded that I had no feeling.
Dr. Did you get
warmed up occasionally?
294
Sp. Yes, once in a while. I do not
know what is the matter, but
something burns me sometimes. (Static
treatment given patient.) Now
it is all dark, dark. I do not see a
thing. I do not know which is the
best, the fire, or being crowded so
that I got no breath. I could not
breathe. I do not know why it is. But
I seemed to have gotten a shock.
Dr. Did you die from a
shock?
Sp. I cannot tell that I am dead because I do not feel dead.
I have
had fire, and sometimes it was like thunder, shooting
pain.
Mrs. Sr. Do you remember Dr. Wickland?
Sp.
Yes.
Mrs. Sr. Do you remember that machine he had?
Sp. The
one that shot fire?
Mrs. Sr. Yes, and that is the fire you
feel.
Sp. Why, I didn't take treatments from him.
Mrs. Sr.
You have been bothering me all these years.
Sp. Why did I bother
you?
Mrs. Sr. Have Doctor explain it to you.
Dr. It is not
hard to explain. You are now a spirit and have been
hovering around
your friend. That is why you feel uncomfortable.
You are not in Chicago
now, you are in California. You are in Los
Angeles, California. Don't
you remember Mrs. Sr.?
Sp. Yes, she was in Chicago.
Dr. You
are both in Los Angeles now.
Sp. I was in Chicago. I always had
pains in my legs, and very
often in my head.
Mrs. S. You gave me
those pains lately.
Dr. You loaned Mrs. Sr. your pains.
Sp.
No, you are mistaken in that.
Mrs. Sr. Do you remember Mrs.
Wickland of Chicago-Dr.
Wickland's wife? Do you remember she was a
psychic?
Sp. I don't seem to remember. It is strange I don't know
anything.
Mrs. Sr. You thought you knew so much.
Sp. I
supposed I knew. You meddled with that foolish thing,
Spiritualism, and
I did not want to have anything to do with it. Have
you been fooling
with it again?
Mrs. Sr. No, you have been fooling with
me.
Sp. No, I did not want to have anything to do with that; there
is
nothing in it.
I didn't like that fire-I could not stand it.
It chased me
295
away. I suffered terribly. When I
was chased out I was locked up in a
new room.
Dr. You were
locked up in a room of ignorance.
Mrs. Sr. It is a long time since
you died.
Sp. I am not dead.
Dr. Look at this hand. Is that
yours? You are using another body
now. You are proving that what you
thought was humbug is true.
Mrs. Sr. Do you know what year it is
Mrs. Simons?
Sp. I don't know anything. Where is my home? Where is
my girl?
Mrs. Sr. Your girl is not here.. You are in Los Angeles,
California.
Sp. No, now you are a little off. Mrs. Sr., don't you
know you are
in Chicago?
Mrs. Sr. I have been here in California
for six and one-half years.
Sp. We are in Chicago. Such a foolish
woman! She is hypnotized
and wants to have me believe such a
story.
Dr. Wouldn't you like to understand matters? You have
been
dead a good many years, and were hovering around your friend,
Mrs.
Sr. You were driven away from her by electricity. Now you
are
allowed to control my wife's body temporarily so you may
acquire
understanding.
Do you know anything about the purpose of
life? Did that ever
interest you? No, therefore you think there could
not be anything in a
higher life.
You call yourself Mrs. Simons.
This body belongs to Mrs.
Wickland and she is in Los Angeles,
California. You claim you are in
Chicago and we cannot convince you of
the facts. You have been
obsessing Mrs. Sr.
Sp. I came to her
because it was so dark. It seems I had been
sleeping for a while, then
I woke up. I saw a light, then I was here. I
could see just a little
light if I could be with her.
Dr. You got into her magnetic aura
and made her suffer. In order
to get you out I applied electricity to
her.
Mrs. Sr. Do you know what I told Doctor? I told him to give
you
that electricity.
Sp. You have no sympathy for a poor old,
lady like me.
Dr. Would you have liked to have an earthbound spirit
control
your body?
SP. I will not listen to you.
Dr. You
are willing to bother your friend.
296
Sp. I do not know whether I have
been bothering her. I have only
been around her to see
light.
Dr. Then how did you happen to get the electricity when I
gave it
to her? I have never treated you.
Mrs. Sr. By right you
ought to pay Dr. Wickland for that
treatment, Mrs. Simons.
Sp.
Tell me one thing-how did I come here? I do not think you are
right,
Mrs. Sr., but if you should be, how did you come to
California?
Mrs. Sr. By paying my railroad fare I came here. Did
you pay anything?
Sp. I never paid anything, so how did I get here?
I don't believe it
anyhow-you cannot say that to me! I am in Chicago,
and Mrs. Sr. was
never in California.
Dr. Do you hear that
rumble? That is a train leaving Los Angeles
for Chicago.
Sp.
That is the Northwestern train.
Dr. There is no Northwestern out
here. What do you gain by
arguing? When you understand the situation
you will appreciate what
I am trying to tell you.
What would you
think of a person who refused to understand life,
who has been dead
seven or eight years, whose body is lost and in
the grave, and who is
an ignorant spirit, bothering one who was
formerly a friend?
Sp.
I cannot see how that is.
Dr. We are telling you facts.
Mrs.
Sr. Your body was buried in Waltheim. Cemetery six or eight
years
ago.
Sp. I have been sleeping. I woke up with very severe pains and
I
could not move very well, and I felt so crowded.
Dr. That was
because Mrs. Sr.'s body is smaller than yours, and
you have been
obsessing her.
Sp. How could I get in that body? I felt I could
hardly move. I
have to find out what you are talking about. I don't
believe it. I want
to know what object you have to say such
things?
Dr. Did you ever study Life at all?
Sp. I studied
trees and Nature.
Dr. Did you ever observe how the tree grows? It
is wonderful. God
puts life into it and it grows. What is
life?
Sp. God, I suppose.
Dr. Have you ever seen
mind?
Sp. Mind is mind.
297
Dr. Have you ever seen
mind?
Sp. No, you could not talk if you had no mind.
Dr.
Mind is invisible, isn't it?
Sp. I haven't seen it.
Dr.
Suppose we tell you that you are invisible to us. When I speak to
you I
can see only my wife's body.
Sp. Your wife's body? Mrs. Sr., what
is the matter? Have I lost my body?
Mrs. Sr. Yes, you
have.
Dr. Only your stubbornness keeps you in the dark.
Sp.
I haven't seen or heard anything. There was a time, I tell you, when
I
walked on and on, but always in the dark, and it seemed like I never
could get
there. I rested, then I kept on walking. At first I could see
just a little light,
and it seems like it came to me in a flash-"Mrs.
Sr.!" I thought, "Yes, she was
a friend of mine" and then I could see
her.
Dr. You transferred yourself by thought.
Sp. Then I had
a terrible pain. I thought I had lost all my pain for a little
while. I
woke up and felt no pain at first, but when I got to that light all
the
pain came back.
Dr. You had pain when you had your body. You
must understand you
are a spirit, invisible to us. When an earthbound
spirit comes in touch with a
mortal body he again has the pains he
passed out with. You got in touch with
Mrs. Sr., and had your mortal
pains again.
You have caused trouble. You were selfish and you have
not gained
anything by it. In the spirit world you will have to serve
others. Realize that
you are now a spirit; you no longer have a
physical body. Why did you not
become a tree as you expected to
?
Mrs. Sr. Your body is buried in Waltheim Cemetery, Chicago. Go to
the
cemetery and see if you have a tombstone there.
Sp. I don't
want to go and examine my tombstone in the cemetery.
Dr. Did you go
to church?
Sp. I believed that when I died there was nothing more.
I didn't want to
have such foolish thoughts as you had, Mrs. Sr. I had
my own ideas and did
not need yours.
Dr. God created the world
but you did not investigate anything.
Sp. (In great excitement.) My
God! My God I see my
298
mother! (Spirit.) Why, she is in
her grave- yes, many years
ago! It must be a ghost. She looks so
beautiful.
Dr. She did not limit her mind as you did. She did not
want to be a tree.
You must be willing to learn. Jesus said: "Except ye
become as little children
ye shall not enter into the kingdom of
Heaven."
Sp. (Of Jewish faith.) I do not believe in
Jesus.
Dr. What you believe, or what you do not believe, has
nothing to do with
the fact of life
Sp. Mother, is that really
you? Why, look at that beautiful road, with
beautiful trees and
flowers!
See that beautiful garden and those beautiful houses, and
my mother
walking around.
Dr. Your mother is not a tree, is
she?
Sp. Now she is walking on that beautiful road. She says:
"Come, this is
my home." Her home, but not mine. Can't I go with my
mother?
Dr. Ignorance cannot enter the "Kingdom of
Heaven."
Sp. Look at that steep hill which I have to climb! I
cannot climb that hill
with the big body I have. Mother says: "No, you
cannot climb it with your
body, but you have to climb the hill of
understanding, and you must forget
yourself. Forget that you have
existed in your selfishness. You must serve."
I know; I. know. Yes,
I was selfish. Mother, I will try, but help me! Help
me up there! I
cannot do it alone. (Crying.)
I cannot stay in this misery any
longer! Take me, take me, Mother, with
you. Take me with you and show
me!
She says I must work and not be lazy as I was in life and
expect
everybody to do something for me. If they did not do what I
wanted then I
got angry.
My mother says: "Now you have to serve.
You have to work to climb
this hill of understanding to a higher life.
You have now to learn the first
lesson of life, the lesson of
understanding, and you will have to go up that hill
until you have
gotten away from all selfishness, jealousy and envy. You must
do
that.
"You must also ask forgiveness for what you have done to Your
old
friend. You will have to do it," my mother says. "You will have to
be
forgiven. (Crying.) No, you must ask for forgiveness, because you
have been
selfish, very selfish. All thoughts of self must be thrown
away, and you must
live for others. I am your mother, but I cannot take
you to my home yet,
because you must learn."
299
(Doubtfully.) She says she is my
mother-but I do not know. Yes-I
believe it must be, but she looks so
beautiful.
Dr. That is because she is filled with the spirit of
truth.
Sp. Mrs. Sr., if I ask you to forgive me, will you forgive
me?
Mrs. Sr. I surely will. You didn't know any better.
Sp.
You have helped me to light, and it was because of you that I
reached
this understanding.
Mrs. S. You must thank the Wicklands for
it.
Sp. I don't feel like thanking them for it. Mother says I must,
because I
would still be in that terrible pain and agony but for them.
She says I got into
your magnetic aura with a mind full of pain and
selfishness and envy. Love
was not in me, except selfish love, and she
says now I must have love for
others and not self. Forget self and work
for others, then, she says, I will be happy.
Dr. "Love is the
fulfillment of the law."
Sp. I don't know. I didn't have much
interest in those things. I now see
myself as I was. I was a bundle of
selfishness. Mrs. Sr., I must also ask you
to forgive me because many
times I spoke to you in a very rude way, and I
was selfish. I felt
people should always come to see me and they had to do
it. I see now my
selfishness.
Mrs. Sr., please forgive me. I ask it now from my
heart. I see now, but
before I did not want to see it, because that was
putting my past life before
me, and how I had lived for self. I do not
want that evil, ugly, homely body
of mine, which they (guiding
intelligences) show me. That is not my body.
Dr. That is your
spiritual body, for you have made no other. You have
made a spiritual
body of only selfishness and jealousy.
Sp. It is all crippled and
wrinkled.
Dr. You will have to alter it by your good acts for
others. You will have
to wear the garment you made until you have
earned another.
Sp. To think I should have to wear such an ugly,
homely, old fool thing!
That-that spiritual body of mine-just because I
did not do anybody any good!
Dr. You will have to wear that and be
happy until you have learned
how to earn another, and to climb the hill
of understanding and wisdom.
Sp. So I have to live now in that
awful body of mine. I have to get in.
Dr. Serve--serve your fellow
man.
Sp. I will be brave, and I will try, because now I see what
I
300
should have done, but I did not do
it. They say it is not too late, and I will
try to wear that body, all
wrinkled and so homely. They tell me I can soon
wear it out by good
acts, and each time I do some good act, some wrinkles
will be taken
away, and there will be a change for the better. I will try to
be
happy. It is hard. Mrs. Sr., help me!
Dr. We will all help
you.
Sp. Give me some little sympathy because I have to be in that
terrible,
homely body of mine that I have made only by selfishness and
hate. I will
wear it until I can do better. I need help and strength so
that I can stand it.
Mrs. Sr., forgive me. They say I have done
harm- to you, and that now I
have to wear that homely body and have to
serve you. I will serve you and
help you. My first lesson will be how
to be kind. I will, I will.
Dr. You will find many good friends who
will help you. Ask the
intelligent spirits to help you. Will you ask
them?
Sp. Yes, I will. They say I must thank you for those
thundershots.
Dr. Do you believe in spirits now?
Sp. I must,
I suppose. Don't be like I was, selfish, but do what you can
so that
you will not have to get into a crippled-up body like mine. They
say,
no one can help us to work out our own salvation. Make your spirit
body
more beautiful than mine.
Now I will go and begin my work.
Goodby.
---------------------
Miss F. H., a talented
young musician, of gentle disposition, was a
student in college when
she suddenly became violent and destructive, tore her
clothes into
shreds and struck every one who came near her.
She was finally
placed in a sanitarium, kept in a locked room for some
time and her
case diagnosed as dementia praecox. When brought to our
Institute she
had become almost a skeleton.
At this time she declared constantly
her name was not Miss H. but that
she was Margaret Young, of England,
and had two children.
One noon, as Miss H. was seated at the table,
Mrs. Wickland
clairvoyantly saw the spirit of a newsboy take possession
of the patient and
reach eagerly for food, exclaiming: "Gee whiz! I'm
hungry! I haven't had
anything to eat for a long time."
His
hunger satisfied, the newsboy left, and after this occurrence the
spirit
of Margaret Young ceased tormenting the patient.
301
Miss F. H. had with her as
companion a younger sister, Miss C. H
who understood obsession and was
of great help to her.
One afternoon while Miss F. H. was seated at
the piano, she
suddenly became controlled by a strange entity, but the
sister
sharply ordered the intruder to leave, and the patient again
became herself.
This spirit controlled Mrs. Wickland during a
physic circle held
that evening, and after this the patient improved
rapidly. Within four
months she returned to her home, entirely well,
graduated from
college and later took up music
professionally.
EXPERIENCE, OCTOBER 6,1920
Spirit: ALICE.
Patient: Miss F. H
PSYChiC: MRS. WICKLAND
Doctor Where did you
come from?
Spirit I came here as a visitor.
Dr. Would you
please introduce yourself ?
Sp. I must find out where I am. I do
not know any of you people.
Dr. Will you please tell us who you
are?
Sp. I do not know whether I want to tell you who I
am.
Dr. Then tell us how long you have been dead.
Sp.
Dead?
Dr. Do you understand your situation? Why are you
here?
Sp. I do not know what I came here for. Somebody told me
to
come in here but I do not see any object in coming.
Dr.
Perhaps we may learn something from you. You could tell us
about your
life and present condition. Tell us who you are;
introduce
yourself.
Sp. Oh, I do not know.
Dr. Who told
you to come in here? Do you know the party?
Sp. No. I was walking
around trying to find some place.
Everything had been so dark and I
have been walking such a long
time, and I am very tired. I do not want
to be talked to. I want to rest.
Dr. You cannot do that because you
are a stranger here. Are you
a man or a woman?
Sp. That's a very
strange question to ask.
Dr. It may seem so to you.
Sp.
Can't you see whether I am a man or woman? Don't they
dress
differently?
302
Dr. This is a lady's body in this
chair. Are you a lady?
Sp. I most certainly am not a
man!
Dr. Were you a woman or a girl?
Sp. I have not changed
to a man, I tell you.
Dr. You evidently changed your bodily form.
If I tell you that this
is the body of my wife you would be surprised.
Evidently you are still
asleep.
Sp. Asleep, this time of
day?
Dr. Why not try to understand matters? You know you are in
a
strange situation. Try to understand it, try to learn the reason.
This
body is not your own.
Sp. How you talk! I came into this
room, and I certainly could not
come in without a body. I did not come
in like a feather, floating
around.
Dr. Do you recognize these
hands?
Sp. Those hands belong to me.
Dr. I want you to
understand that you are using some one's body
temporarily. You do not
recognize these hands.
Sp. I am not used to such treatment.
(Haughtily.) I used to be in
society. (General laughter.) Oh, dear!
Everyone is laughing at me. I
do not know what to do, it is so
provoking.
Dr. Did you have a great deal of wealth when you had
your own body?
Sp. Why should I tell you of my affairs?
Dr.
Were you only pretending to be aristocratic?
Sp. I never heard such
talk before.
Dr. You are a spirit but do not understand your
condition.
Sp. I can't see how I happened to come here. (Struggling
to leave.)
Dr. You must be sensible and listen to
reason.
Sp. Oh, dear! What shall I do? Why should you hold my
hands?
Dr. I am not holding your hands. I am holding my wife's
hands.
Sp. I am not your wife!
Dr. Ask these persons if this
is not my wife.
Sp. I do not know these people and I do not care
to.
Dr. When you are ready to talk we will talk
sensibly.
Sp. You need not dictate to me!
Dr. How long have
you been dead?
Sp. Dead? What are you talking about? I have never
died.
Dr. You have lost your physical body and have
evidently
303
been wandering around for a long
time. You are allowed to control my
wife's body and you must behave
sensibly.
Sp. I do not like that girl with the yellow waist. (Miss
C. R., the
patient's sister.) She bothers me so very much. She drove me
away
when I was getting along so nicely. (To Miss C. H.) What right
have
you to do that to me? I do not like you one bit.
Dr. She
probably drove out an earthbound spirit. You do not
realize your own
condition.
Sp. She chased me away, and I don't like her.
Dr.
You were controlling her sister, and she did not like it. You are
an
earthbound spirit.
Sp. I am no such thing! (Stamping.)
Dr.
You are a spirit, ignorant of your actual condition.
Sp. You need
not talk to me! I will not listen to you.
Dr. Do you realize that
you are using another person's body?
Sp. You certainly are
crazy!
Dr. Do you not wish to be helped?
Sp. Do you think I
need your help? Why, I came in here just to
see what things were. I
have been walking so long, and then there
was a litle light (aura of
sensitive) and that girl in the yellow waist
talked to me as if she
owned the whole earth. Talking
to me like that!
Dr. Does it not
seem strange to you that you are in the dark?
Sp. I was lost and
have been walking around for a long time. It
has been very dark and I
have felt so badly. I have not seen anything.
Dr. Strive to
understand why you are in the dark.
Sp. I heard music (patient at
piano) so I thought I would listen to
it, and then before I knew it I
saw a light, and then came this thing to
me (Miss C. H.) and talked as
if she owned the earth.
Dr. Let me tell you something. This girl's
sister is a psychic
sensitive, and has been controlled by different
spirits who have
disturbed her life. Today she was playing the piano,
you listened and
got in touch with her magnetic aura. Through that you
saw a little
light and then you controlled the girl.
Sp. I have
never seen you before today, young lady! (To Miss F.H.)
Dr. At the
present time you are controlling my wife's body.
Sp. I am sick and
tired of hearing that.
Dr. Can't you understand what I am telling
you?
304
Sp. I do not understand it one bit,
about controlling. How can I
control another body? That is such
nonsense.
Dr. My wife is a psychic sensitive and allows spirits to
control
her body.
Sp. Spiritualists, then? I suppose you are all
Spiritualists. I see, I
see. - They are all crazy, all
crazy.
Dr. You are proving the fallacy of your thinking at the
present
moment. You are a spirit and are using my wife's
body.
Sp. Keep still with that wife business. I was never married,
and I
certainly will not marry you.
Dr. I said this is my wife's
body.
Sp. There you are again, insinuating about the wife
business!
This body belongs to me.
Dr. For a little while
only.
Sp. Have you ever seen a person change bodies? What are
you
talking about?
Dr. Did you ever stop to consider what mind
is?
Sp. That belongs to the soul, and the soul is part of the
Divine God.
Dr. That sounds very well. Do you understand what God
is? I am
trying to reach your understanding. You have lost your body,
and
are now a spirit, absolutely invisible to us.
Sp. Crazy,
crazy, crazy! You are the craziest person I ever saw.
Dr. How would
you explain the situation?
Sp. That girl came to me with such force
and told me to get out,
and before I knew it I was gone. I stayed
around and tried and tried to
get back, because I was not going to be
driven out as she thought. I
have been watching for another chance to
get in again, and here I am,
and now you can't drive me out.
Dr.
Should not such an experience cause you to think?
Sp. Why should
I?
Dr. You realize that you are in a strange condition. You are
very
selfish; you know that I am telling the truth.
Sp. You have
not told me any truth yet.
Dr. Ask one of these gentlemen whose
hands I am holding.
Ans. The doctor is holding his wife's
hands.
Dr. You are a spirit and are invisible to us. I am holding
the hands
of Mrs. Wickland.
Sp. How in the world am I Mrs.
Wickland?
Dr. You are not Mrs. Wickland. You are only using her
body.
Sp. Now you know we cannot change bodies. I know
this.
305
Dr. You have lost your own body and
are a spirit.
Sp. Then why did I lose it? If I were dead and had
lost my body
how in the world could I have been walking around as I
have been? I
was so hungry for a while and I wanted to get something to
eat, but
that thing (pointing to Miss C. H.) chased me out. I put up
some fight,
because I was so hungry.
Dr. It is your body that is
dead; you have lost that, but you
yourself are not dead. Paul said:
"There is a natural body, and there is
a spiritual body." You have lost
your natural body.
Sp. When did I do that?
Dr. I do not
know. After you stepped out of your physical body
you continued to live
in your spiritual body. You were brought here
to obtain an
understanding of your condition. When you have that
you will not need
to walk in the darkness any longer. You will then
have an understanding
of the spirit life.
Sp. I have been walking but I am on earth, not
in Heaven.
Dr. What do you understand "Heaven" to be?
Sp.
That is where God is.
Dr. The Bible says: "God is Love," and "Ye
are the temple of God
and the Spirit of God dweIleth in you." If you
have love in your heart
then you are a part of God.
Sp. I have
always done the very best I could.
Dr. Do you know what year it is?
It is 1920. Can you realize that
you have been in the dark for some
time?
Sp. I have been in the dark and cannot remember things very
well.
Dr. That is because you have lost all physical contact, and
have
no understanding of the higher life. You have been brought here
for
the purpose of being helped. You can only stay for a short
time.
Sp. But where will I go?
Dr. To the spirit world. What
is your name?
Sp. I do not know.
Miss C. H. You told it to
me this afternoon. You said your name
was Mary Bulwer and that you were
from Germany.
Sp. I did not say that. You were speaking to my
friend at that time.
(Another spirit controlling patient.)
Dr.
Do you realize where you are now? Do you know that you are
in Los
Angeles, California?
Sp. No.
Dr. Where do you think you
are?
Sp. My friend and I were traveling on the railroad.
306
Dr. Did something
happen?
Sp. We were going to-now I can't remember where. Oh, Mary!
(To
a spirit.) Don't go! You know you were my companion, my
traveling
companion. I always paid your way and you must not leave me
now.
Dr. What does she say she is going to do?
Sp. Mary,
won't you please tell me my name? Look! Look at that
fire! The whole
thing is on fire!
Dr. You are again going through the condition
under which you
passed out.
Sp. Mary, Mary, look at that
fire!
Dr. Were you in a railroad accident?
Sp. Yes,
yes!
Dr. That has all passed.
Sp. Look at Mary! She's dead!
She was crushed!
Dr. They are revealing to you the conditions under
which you
passed out. That is all in the past. You must quiet
yourself.
Sp. I only got a glimpse of it for just a
minute.
Dr. What does Mary say? Does she understand that she
has
passed out?
Sp. She is lost and so am I. We are both lost.
We lost our way.
Dr. That is because you are ignorant of the real
life. If you had had
understanding when you had your physical body you
would not
have been lost.
Sp. I have been walking and Mary is
dead.
Dr. She is not really dead; she only lost her physical body.
Mary
is no more dead than you are. You are both spirits.
Sp. I
died in that terrible fire. Look at them all! All those people
are
burning up! (Greatly excited.)
Dr. Forget the accident and collect
yourself. Try to calm yourself
and forget the past.
Sp.
(Agitated at sight of several spirits.) I don't want to see them-
any
of them! Look at that one! He is coming he's coming! I don't want
to
see you! I don't want you and I told you I did not want you.
Dr.
You probably wronged these persons in life and are now
having to meet
the consequences.
Sp. I just had a good time with you, but I don't
care for you. I only
wanted to see how much you loved me, but I don't
love you. Now
they say they come to accuse me. I do not want any of
them. There
are three.
307
Dr. Men or women?
Sp. I do
not love a woman. Why do they come here?
Dr. What does your
conscience tell you?
Sp. (Sneeringly.) He killed himself because I
would not marry him-the
fool!
Dr. Didn't you play vampire in the
first place?
Sp. That's my affair.
Dr. You will now have to
strive to do better.
Sp. Let me remain in darkness-it is far better
than this. There I just
walked. I did not see anything, but I am tired
of walking.
Dr. What does your conscience tell you?
Sp. Do
not talk to me about conscience.
Dr. Jesus said: "Except ye become
as little children, ye shall not enter
into the kingdom of heaven." You
will have to start a new life; you will have
to develop a newness of
spirit. Sacrifice self. You will have to sacrifice self
and become as a
little child; you will have to correct your mistakes.
Sp. (To
another spirit.) What have you to do with me now?
Dr. You have
wronged these men you speak of.
Sp. There is a woman here too. What
have you to do with me, I said? No,
I never paid her for my
dresses. Accusing me, just because I did not pay!
Dr. Was that the
right thing to do? Your conscience told you what you
should have done.
Now you will have to serve others. Selfishness is the root
of all
evil.
Sp. I was taught nothing except to have a good time and spend
money.
Money was just what I was taught in my childhood to be proud of.
Not a
serious thought for any one that was beneath me. Why should I
have been
taught that and now have to suffer for it?
Dr. Was
truth in your heart?
Sp. I was taught always to have the respect of
others and to remember
that I was rich, and that I should have all the
world could give me. I wanted
money, and when I broke a heart it was
good cheer to me. (To spirits.) I said,
Don't come, don't
come!
Dr. You have been brought here for help. lie quiet and listen
to me. You
will now have to try to undo your mistakes.
Sp. I
could never do that.
Dr. You can and you will. Others are here to
help you, and they will
show you a better way. Don't be
selfish.
Sp. I am. very selfish and I have always been very
selfish.
308
was never taught anything else. My
mother was a proud woman and she
was very pretty.
Dr.
Unfortunately for you. You must quiet yourself; you have been
allowed
to come here for help. Do you see any one else you know?
Sp. I do
not care to look around any more; I see only those whom I have
wronged.
They are all standing here! Oh! (Shrinking back.) Why should I
suffer
so?
Dr. You created that suffering yourself. There is help for you
if you will
be sincere. Intelligent spirits will help you.
Sp. I
thought that I could live and have a good time. I traveled
everywhere I
wanted to go. I saw everything and had everything I wanted
that money
could buy. Every wish I had was gratified.
Dr. You stupified your
soul. You will now have to undo your own
follies by kindness. You will
have to serve others.
Sp. I cannot serve anybody. They will have to
serve me. I have never
done anything in my life. I have always been
waited on.
Dr. Understand that unless you help these spirits you
will continue to
suffer. You will have nothing but the torment of your
own conscience until
you ask for mercy and say, "I will
serve."
Sp. I never can wait on any one; that would be a step
beneath me. What
would my mother say if I should wait on any one
beneath me?
Dr. There is nobody beneath you. Money does not make
intelligence nor
merit.
Sp. Nobody beneath me? Would I associate
with my dressmaker?
Dr. When you go to the spirit world you will
probably find that your
humblest servant has a higher position than you
have. You will often find
that the people you think beneath you have
the most beautiful homes in the
spirit world. You have much to do to
overcome your own disposition. There
are many advanced spirits here who
will help you. Jesus taught us that we
must humble
ourselves.
Sp. You do not know what that would mean to
me.
Dr. My wife allows spirits of all kinds to control her brain
and body.
Would you be willing to sacrifice yourself as she does? She
allows you to
control her body so we can help you to a better
understanding. Look around
and you will find spirits here who will help
you.
309
Sp. Oh, Rudolph! (Spirit.) I
loved you, but you know that my pride and
my mother would not consent
to our marriage. I know you suffered, but you
did not know that I
suffered also. You know you could not give me the social
standing I was
used to. I loved you, and I love you yet. Rudolph, will you
forgive me?
I would have liked to have married you, Rudolph, but I could
not.
Dr. Why should pride and money be obstacles to
love?
Sp. I was not happy, but I had to crush that. I did not dare
go contrary
to my mother. I had to shine in society with a broken
heart. I had to smile at
all those fools.
I had to be another
person when my heart and love were with you,
Rudolph, but forgive me! I
know you suffered.
I went to your funeral but mother did not know
it. I wished I were dead
and could go with you, but I had to close the
door to love. From the moment
you had gone, I said I would conquer and
shut out love and sympathy, and I
would now live for selfishness and
let others suffer as I had suffered for the
love I had to shut out of
my heart.
Rudolph, forgive and help me. You were such a good man,
but religion
and money and mother stood between us and love. You were
poor but you
were good.
He says if he could have been with me he
could have taught me to be a
good woman.
Yes, Rudolph, but the
good influence you brought with you was shut out
for me; then I did not
care what became of me. I went into society and had a
good time trying
to drown my sorrow. I tried to lead every man on so that I
could get
him down at my feet. I did not care if I crushed men. I wanted
others
to suffer as I had suffered.
Dr. That was selfish.
Sp. I was
taught nothing but selfishness.
Dr. What does Rudolph
say?
Sp. He says: "Alice, come with me to the spirit world."
(Crying.) He
says in Heaven there is no pride to interfere; all is love
and harmony.
Dr. We can help you. Strive to understand. When you
realize the better
life you will have much to do to correct your
mistakes. You can undo your
mistakes by kindness to others. You will
have to work out your own salvation.
Sp. (Stooping forward.) Carl,
don't go. I know you meant well, but I
could not love you when my heart
was with another. I knew I was at fault
when you killed yourself.
See--he just lies there! (Crying.)
310
Dr. He, too, will find
understanding. Others will help him. Spirit
is
indestructible.
Sp. Look there! That cannot be! My mother!
Look, look, how wrinkled
and homely she is! That cannot be my mother.
She says she is-but it cannot
be. Oh, she is so homely! She was very
lovely and beautiful. That cannot be
mother. She is so homely, so
homely! Mother, what is the matter with you?
You had such a beautiful
form, now you are all shriveled.
Dr. That is the spirit form which
she developed by her selfishness. Her
spirit body is of her own making.
"As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."
Sp. Mother, Mother,
what is the matter with you?
She says: "Alice, I am at fault in the
way I brought you up. I am at fault
for not bringing you up to be a
better woman than you were. I am at fault for
breaking up that true
love with Rudolph, which probably would have
brought out your better
nature."
She says that she closed the door, that she did not do any
kind acts in
life, so her spirit body was all crippled because of her
bad deeds. She says
she is now serving, and when she does a good act
some of her crippled
condition disappears.
She is so crippled
and she has ragged clothes on. She says she is now
serving with the
body she earned when she was in earth life. She is now
showing me the
body she has earned in spirit. It is better than the other, but
her
face is all wrinkled.
Dr. Her face was her pride.
Sp. She
says she has to serve and help every one she wronged, that she
must do
good acts, many of them, before her face will be beautiful.
She
says: "Alice, try to be different. Here is your spirit body,
Alice."
Oh, no! Not that! Rudolph, come and help me! You know how I
feel.
Dr. What is your name? Ask your mother.
Sp. My mother
cannot tell me; she cannot remember.
Dr. Can you remember who is
the President?
Sp. McKinley.
Dr. He was killed in 1901. Did
you know he was dead? He was shot in
Buffalo in 1901. You must have
been dead twenty years or more.
Sp. Have I been walking all that
time?
Dr. You must have been.
Sp. I was born in Milwaukee. I
wish I could tell more, but
311
I cannot. The door is shut and I
cannot even think. Why cannot I get
my name? My memory is gone. Please
remember Alice.
Dr. Your memory will come back to you. Realize life
as it is. Think
yourself with Rudolph now.
Sp. I will. I also
want to thank you.
Goodbye.
-------------------
Haughty superiority and pride of station had
long kept the spirit
of a cultured English lady in the earth sphere,
but with an
understanding of life's higher purpose came spiritual
discernment and
progress.
EXPERIENCE, OCTOBER 4, 1922
Spirit:
ESTHER SUTHERLAND. Psychic: MRS. WICKLAND
The controlling
intelligence was very arrogant and gazed
disdainfully
about.
Doctor Is your condition strange to you? What has happened
to you?
Spirit Many things have happened to me, but that is not
strange.
Dr. We should like to know who you are and where you
came
from. You are a stranger here.
Sp. (Condescendingly, with
marked English accent.) I fancy I am a
stranger to you.
Dr. May
I ask to what nobility you belong?
Sp. What sort of a gentleman are
you to ask such personal questions ?
Dr. Do you not like this
gathering?
Sp. (Greatly bored.) I do not know anything about
you.
Dr. Do you belong to royalty?
Sp. Why are so many
looking at me? Some are standing, some sitting.
Dr. Some must be
spirits.
Sp. Spirits! I fancy it is only imagination. I see people
sitting and
standing. It may be you have no glasses to see with. I
fancy you are
of the more common class.
Dr. We were not
fortunate enough to be born in the upper class.
You have not introduced
yourself to us yet.
Sp. I would not care to have an introduction to
any of you here.
(Loftily.) I do not think you belong to the set I am
used to going with.
Dr. We are not particularly anxious to belong
to that set,
312
but unless we know who you are we
cannot pay you the honor due
you.
Sp. I do not know if I should
like to have honor from you.
Dr. We should like to treat you with
proper respect.
Sp. You have joked so rudely.
Dr. Lady, at
least please tell us your name.
Sp. I do not know if I should do
so. (Looking her questioner over
from head to foot through an imaginary
lorgnette.)
Dr. It would not do you any harm, you know.
Sp.
(Pointing to reception room.) Who stands there? (Invisibles.)
There are
quite a few people here. It seems like a meeting of some
sort. I do not
know why I should have come here.
Dr. Won't you please ask those
people in the other room who
they are? I cannot see them. Ask them why
they are here.
Sp. I fancy that is a select crowd, and I think I
had better go with
them. I fancy they are more my set. (Attempting to
rise.)
Dr. Please remain seated and ask those people who they
are.
Sp. I do not see why I should ask them that.
Dr.
Introduce yourself to them.
Sp. I do not think I should introduce
myself. We do not do that.
Dr. You are a total stranger to us; you
might be an imposter.
Sp. (Turning frigidly away, and speaking to
the gentleman at her
right.) Recently I have not been able to express
my thoughts as well
as I would care to.
Dr. Just ask those
people who they are.
Sp. I told you I do not want to talk to them.
If you feel like talking
to them you are welcome to go there and
speak.
Dr. But we cannot see anybody there. How can we talk to
them?
Sp. I cannot help it--I cannot help it.
Dr. Ask them
if they are spirits. What do they do when I say they
are spirits? (To
the invisible assemblage.) Are you all spirits? (To
controlling
spirit.) What do they say?
Sp. Some nod their heads, Yes; some do
not answer, but I cannot
see why they should do that. Most of them
answer in the affirmative.
I see a soldier in uniform.
Dr. That
might be one of your relatives. Are you of English
descent?
Sp.
I am English.
313
Dr. Do you know that Queen Victoria
is dead?
Sp. Queen Victoria was the English Queen. She was a
wonderful,
wonderful woman. She died a long time ago.
Dr. I
think it was in 1901.
Sp. Yes, I think it was, was it
not?
Dr. King Edward is dead, too.
Sp. They used to say he
was a wonderful King. Everybody
respected and loved him. He was very
much for everybody. He
mingled with the common herd as well as with
fine society.
Dr. That is a good suggestion for you. You should
feel more at
home with the common herd. Do you remember the Great
War.
Sp. What Great War?
Dr. Do you know Lord Kitchener? He
died in the Great War.
Sp. We had war with the Boers.
Dr.
That was about 1898. Did you know Lord Kitchener?
Sp. He was a good
man but not much in any war. I do not know
anything about the Great War
you speak of.
Dr. There were twenty-three or four nations fighting
each other.
England was fighting Germany.
Sp. I fancy that is
remarkable. I do not know anything about that. I
used to read a great
deal at one time.
Dr. Do you remember the Kaiser?
Sp. He was
a strange man.
Dr. Do you know that the Kaiser is deposed? Do you
know that
the Czar and his family were killed?
Sp.
How?
Dr. By the Bolshevists.
Sp. What? Who are
they?
Dr. They are the ones who upset the royalty business in
Russia.
Sp. No, they did not call them that. They called them what
is that
word I wish to say?
Ques. Nihilist?
Sp. Yes, that
is it. They were sent to Siberia.
Dr. The Czar was sent that way,
and then killed.
Sp. Fancy that!
Dr. Do you remember the
Emperor of Austria? He has passed on.
Sp. Where have I been all
this time not to know about the things
of which you are
talking?
Dr. The Hapsburg House is no longer in power.
314
Sp. No! What is the world coming
to?
Dr. Coming to Democracy.
Sp. All royalty gone! Then the
common herd is starting in to do wrong.
Dr. There may be no
aristocracy in time.
Sp. We have noble blood in our
veins.
Dr. Suppose a commoner were made a King; would that
change
his blood? Do you remember that the King honored Napoleon
and
gave him a title? That did not give him blue blood.
Sp. I
was born of noble blood and I will stick to that all my life.
Dr.
What is your name? Were you a member of the English
royal
family?
Sp. My name was in olden times-well, I have not
had my name for
a long time. It seems to me-yes, my name was Esther
Sutherland.
Ques. Were you the Duchess of Sutherland?
Sp.
(Indignantly.) No, I was not the Duchess, but one of the
distant
relatives. They all had more money, while I only had the title.
That is
worth a great deal.
Ques. Do you know you are in
America?
Sp. I am still in England.
Ques. Do you see any of
your old friends around here?
Dr. Look in that crowd you spoke of;
can you find some one you
know?
Sp. I never knew that Kitchener
had passed away as you state.
Dr. He was drowned when a war vessel
was torpedoed on the
Scottish Coast. Do you know him?
Sp. Yes.
He is here, and he says that I must try to understand
my
situation.
Dr. That is why you were brought here.
Sp.
(Pointing to further end of hall.) Why, there's an old
gentleman
(spirit) lecturing that I heard many years ago! Just fancy! I
never
thought I would hear him again.
He is talking to a great
many people. (Spirits.) It seems we have
many here who just came to
investigate what kind of a meeting this is,
and what is going on. They
all seem to be trying very hard to find out
what they really
are.
He is now standing on that platform. He is lecturing just as
he
used to in England some years ago. I went to hear him, but he
talked
Spiritualism. I did not really know what he
315
meant. He spoke well. He said his
name is Dr. Peebles. (Famous lecturer on
Spiritualism.) He said to me,
"You go in there," so I came.
He says: "I want you to get
understanding, and I do not-" no, no, what
does he mean? He says he
does not want me to stay in the earth sphere, but
to lift my soul up to
God and understand the real spiritual meaning of Him.
He has a big
crowd around him; some he is trying to lift up to higher
things, others
he is trying to wake up, so he tells me. They are not sleeping,
are
they?
Dr. Yes, mentally. The Bible says: "Blessed is he that hath
part in the
first resurrection: on such the second death has no
power."
Sp. What does that mean?
Dr. It means that for those
who have a spiritual understanding while in
the body there is no
death.
Sp. Of course there is.
Dr. No one ever "dies." The
spirit, or mind, is not the body.
Sp. It is not?
Dr. You are
dead to the world and your own relatives, and evidently
have been so
for many years, but we know that you yourself are not
really
dead.
Sp. I have been walking about a great deal, and I
have traveled
extensively, but I have felt very strange. Whenever I
wanted to go anywhere,
all I had to do was to think, and it seemed that
I did not need a train or
anything, but I was there. At times I felt I
must be in America, because I
always heard they run their trains much
faster than in England.
Dr. You are in Los Angeles,
California.
Sp. California! How did I get here? The old gentleman
is talking to a big
crowd. He says he has to bring them here to get
them to understand, and to
have them open their spiritual eyes to
see.
Dr. You are having yours opened now.
Sp. Why should I
come here and speak? Why do the rest not speak? The
lecturer says he
could take me quicker than any of the others. Still I do not
look
different than they. He says he could take me more quickly to control
a
psychic.
Dr. He is right.
Sp. What does he mean by
that? He said it was necessary to bring this
crowd here. He met most of
them in England when he was lecturing there
many years ago. He says
some
316
will listen to his lecture, but
many he cannot reach, nor even waken, so he
brought them
here.
He says he did not bring me here to waken me, but I had come
with
others in that room over there. There are so many there. Some are
crippled
and some cannot speak at all. It seems as if he speaks and
lifts them up, and
then they waken. He has a wonderful power for
healing.
Dr. They are lifted up by his thought. He makes them
understand that
their crippled bodies are in the grave.
Sp. Now
he says that I must thank you for the privilege of meeting you
and of
talking with you. I do not see why I should do that. He says also
that
I shall have to put all my pride aside. Yes, but the rest are the
same as I.
Dr. You might see Queen Victoria or King Edward* in the
crowd, and I
am told that you will find them very common
now.
Sp. Of Queen Victoria they always said she talked to spirits,
and
everybody thought she was a little crazy on the subject.
Dr.
She was open-minded.
Sp. She had spirit communications very
often.
Dr. She is not a Queen any longer.
Sp. Some said she
had a medium with her a great deal to ask what things
to do and what
not to do. His name was Brown, I believe.
Dr. Yes, John
Brown.
Sp. She said she always had to ask her husband about
things.
Dr. What more does Dr. Peebles say?
Sp. He says I
had better say Good Night to you all, and he also says that
he will
take all the crowd away with him, and that he will show them the
spirit
world and try to help them. That is his work.
Dr. He passed out
about Six months ago. Now he is active on the other side.
Sp. I
think I am growing weak; I feel strange.
Dr. You are losing
control. This body is not yours; it is my wife's.
Sp. What do you
mean?
Dr. She is a psychic through whom you are talking. You
are
experiencing only a temporary sensation.
Sp. There is my
mother! (Spirit.) I have not seen her for many years.
Dr. How does
she look?
See Chap. 4, Page 83.
Spirit: Lillian R.
317
Sp. She looks very
young.
Dr. Ask her if she has understanding?
Sp. She says,
Yes, she was very much interested in Dr. Peebles' lectures,
and also
she used to go and listen to Mrs. Britten.
Dr. She was a wonderful
woman. She is now showing object lessons in
spirit life.
Sp.
Mother says she used to go and hear her quite often, and also some
man
who lectured.
Dr. Was his name Mr. Wallis?
Sp. Yes. He was
quite a young man at that time.
Dr. He has also passed on. They all
pass along to the better land.
Sp. (With transfigured face, gazing
raptly upon some vision.) Look at
that open door! It is so beautifully
engraved. It has engraved on it:
The Door of Life.
Understanding
of Life.
Understanding of God in the True Sense.
The door is
opening, very slowly, and we look in. What a beautiful Hall!
The altar
in the front is so beautiful, so beautiful! On the altar, in the
center,
is a beautiful statue which represents Wisdom. There is a
statue of Truth,
one of Love, one of Understanding, one of Honesty, one
of Life and one of
Modesty.
Wisdom is the center statue. There
are seven statues in all, each holding a
light, each one of the seven
colors. Three on each side of Wisdom, each with
a light, all blending
into Wisdom, the beautiful White Light.
Wisdom
Truth
Honesty
Love Life
Understanding Modesty
From these colors
come the seven musical notes. Each note corresponds
to a color, and
then goes toward the center and lends into Wisdom.
There the real
truth of life and an understanding of God is learned.
Dr. The Bible
says, "God is Love," and "God is Spirit, and they that
worship Him must
worship Him in spirit and in truth."
Sp. That is beautiful. See
those colors blend! They go on
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and on, blending in all ways, into
all forms, into all kinds of shapes, into
stars and flowers, and then
they become music.
Now they form into leaves, buds and
flowers-music taking form and
color. The music itself-I never heard
such beautiful music! Is that Heaven?
Dr. You may call it Heaven,
or the spirit world. Heaven is a condition of
mind. The Bible says: "Ye
are the temple of God and the Spirit of God
dwelleth in you." God is
Love and Wisdom.
Sp. They say to me: "This is the Gateway to the
Higher Life. You have
had a glimpse of it, but you cannot be there."
Why cannot I go there?
Dr. You are carrying a load of which you
must rid yourself-your pride
and your ignorance of spiritual
laws.
Sp. There is one who says: "We have to learn our lessons, to
be humble,
to be charitable, to serve. Learn to be honest and sincere,
then you can enter.
that beautiful hall. Take up the cross and follow
me.
"That cross represents the crucifying of self-selfishness,
jealousy, envy,
bigotry, dogma, creeds, false belief and pride. Take up
your cross and follow me."
That means that I must crucify self,
learn to serve, learn the lesson of
life, learn to love others better
than myself. "Selfishness is the cause of all
trouble. Crucify
self-conceit." Oh, I have much of it. I have much to crucify.
I must
take up my cross and learn my lesson down there. (Pointing
downward.)
Dr. Jesus said: "Except ye become as little children, ye
shall not enter
into the kingdom of heaven."
Sp. (With meek
humility, and a beautiful expression of resignation, hands
uplifted.)
Take me-I am ready to serve, and also to seek for truth. I will
begin
here and now to do the will of Heaven.
Whatever is the
will of God, find me there doing it. I must not go to
church to find
God, I must find Him within if I wish the opening of the door
to that
beautiful Hall of Understanding, Wisdom and Glory.
Now I have to
start at the bottom, at the very bottom, to serve. Is that
to be my
mission? Is it?
Dr. Yes; every one must serve.
Sp. Amongst
all those crippled and blind people-I am to show them the
way. The door
was opened for me to have a glimpse of what I am to work
for, but it
was closed again, and I--I have to serve.
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I have never served. It will be
very hard, for I have always been waited
on. I have never had to dress
myself or comb my hair. I never have done it in
all my life,
never.
Now I have to serve, and comb the matted hair of those
cripples down
there-I--but I have to do it.
Dr. Jesus said: "My
yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Sp. (Earnestly.) It is worth
it, to gain that crown of wisdom. It is worth
all I must go through
with to enter that beautiful hall and listen to the
wonders
there.
I will serve, yes, I honestly will. I will do that and more,
for all. God help
me in my great struggle. Yes, I promise I will serve
and do all within my power.
I must go. Good Night.
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